Old Habit Re-Surfaced

Video Games had always been my Passion. Two days back I did something which triggered me to write this. The old habit transformed itself and revisited.
My childhood had associations with characters of Mario, Contra, etc. In my college days, games became my addiction. It would be any game though preferred were strategic territorial. AOE was one of My Favourites. Now a days I don't play but since last 1 month, the old habit re-surfaced.
During college day, my friend cum room-mate, a person with rational approach towards life, would always advice me to contain my passion to a level of sanity. I often heeded his advice and un-install all games. And reinstall them again in a day or two when the influence of advice weakens against my urge to play. The Rationale in Me too tried to control but it seemed incorrigible. But I also had to ensure my good grades, so a month before exams I would un-install and destroy the source (i.e. I would break all game CDs). And I would visit the game shop on the very day of my last exam to buy all those games which I broke including few new ones. I would delay my home return for a day or two so that I could peacefully play games to my heart content.

Of all, this particular incident explains it all.
It was post 5th semester exams time, I intentionally delayed my home journey for two days while my roommate left the same day.
I accompanied my friend to station, and after his train departed, I returned to my flat. No words to express with what joy. All the way from station to my rented apartment (17km), while I rode my bike, I continued thinking how will I create new regions and play with different strategies.
Reached home & started playing somewhere at evening 6. The game continued for 30 hours i.e. until mid night next day, when the power went off. I hit hard the table and cursed Indian government for not being able to give sufficient power supply. Then I felt hunger. It was natural, since last 30 hours while I was playing I lived on sugar and water. Easy source of energy. Then I also realized that my eyes were excruciatingly painful. I used a torch to inspect my eyes. Those were bad, both swollen while my right eye was blood red. The continuous CRT monitor staring was the reason (the doctor told next day). I wondered if the anti-glare screen was at all effective or was it my mistake. The feeling was mix of guild & fear. Whatever it was, I didn't want to wear specs. I swear the very moment that I would never play games (with such insanity, I clarified myself) and wished the power cut should continue at least until I sleep or my resolution wouldn't last even a night.
When at job, the first thing I bought from my salary was the best anti-glare specs. The lightest frame & glass, most effective at CRTs and wouldn't give mark on my nose. But the game playing continued but for some years.
What about the incident I mentioned at the starting??
Well it's like this. Now fb host the games I play, not addicted though. Recently there was a new game launched, territorial kind of game. Here you build army and loot others resources, but even your region can get attacked if you are off-line. I unleashed havoc on many other's region but needless to say they retaliated. And there's this one guy who tested my patience by attacking quite brutally every time I dared take penny from his region. So I kept my game on-line on laptop @home. But there were many such smart people. So two week later the game got an update and the session gets auto logged off if you are not active for a specific duration. What the hell? To those whom I razed covering myself under this strategy, haunted me back in my region.
So two days back I scripted the login part and scheduled it. Now my region remains active even while I am at office/off-line. And since last Wednesday evening my region is never attack. Now it's show time again. Wow the pleasure of Invincibility has no bounds.
Someone said Old Habit dies Hard but what if one never wanted it to Die. I have got my old passion transformed as I devised not to waste time on un-productive habits even if you wish to maintain. Technology Helps.

The Dog, Strap & the Master

I have realized a relationship. The relationship, which many of those who have, crib for it, while those who doesn't have, seek for it. The relationship I talk of is of the employee and the organization or say the employee and the employer.

If I give a close analogy to this relationship then it would be relationship of a Dog and its master. Employee is The Dog (plz don't get offended) and employer is The Master. But we also have an interesting angle to this relationship which is The Dog Strap. Defining the dog strap in this context, can be said as the individual interest; the same interest which interests the employer to tie the employee & hold and interests the employee to get itself tied and remain held to it.
If you see a Dog, it does work depending on its master's choice. Some guard sheep, some guard houses, some help in animal hunting, some do sniffing job, some help in tracking, some used in sledging, there are some special dogs which are also used for show piece and companions, etc. The dogs job is well defined and the master trains the dog to its specific need and expects to perform as it desires. The master in-turn provide for the dog and take care of it. The relationship rests on mutual interest of give and take. But this ideal situation between master and dog is rarely seen working when it come to the employee and the employer. The reason is in all this give and take relationship of the dog and the master, there is one important tacit bond; the bond of Love and Affection. The dog works for its master whole heartedly not for the food but for the bond which they have build.

And in organizations, I feel, such bonds are the last point of attention. Though various programs are run for the welfare of the employee. But actually those are run to fare well the image of the organization in business world. To portray to the business community that the organization takes care of its work force. And this lip service attitude in this important area is the reason why the situation is mostly chaotic inside. The bond is missing because master is no where to be seen rather master has employed some middlemen to ensure dogs are train well and work well. Middlemen are the branch of the master tree and the new masters to the dogs; these middlemen are the manager. Not all Middlemen are bad, but most of them transform into task managers, due to their own insecurities and pressure from the organization and they overlook element of bond building. The middlemen's training is to perform their jobs well, makes them machine to follow codes and policies and they loose the inner charm (leadership) somewhere. The middlemen who were to become the master and hold strap in their hand rather become mechanical robots with strap tied to them.
The dog which employed its services to the master as Human gets restless and unsatisfied when it realizes that the master is actually a mechanical robot to which it is tied. And these robots are the once to make them work and perform. The dog attempts to take its pseudo master seriously, but with the motivation force missing, things don't happen the way they should be. This displeases the robot and displeased robots actions sow seed of distrust in the dog.
The unsatisfied dog bites the robot and pees on it. It is motivated by the thought that one day its bite will weaken the robot enough to make it fall on its knees. It continues to pee on it with a hope that one day its fluid waste will be acidic enough that it will corrode the robot and make it collapse. As time passes the dog realizes that the only thing it has done is damage it's own mouth by continuous metal bites and peeing has make its surrounding dirty. The already unsatisfied dog is frustrated now and displeased with the real master for having branched masters.

There are times when employees face such a situation at its work place. The acrimony between the heartless mechanical robot fails to understand dog while the foolish dog continues to damage itself.

After long the realization comes to the dog that the only thing which it can damage is the strap. That is something which it has power to control. The strap has two ends. The one end firmly held by the master and the master will never let it go unless circumstances like food scarcity (economic recession) comes, where it wishes to free most of the dogs. During food scarcity due to the deterrence of animal activist's protest, the masters only loosen the hold instead releasing dogs while they control dog's food supply and comfort to inspire it to leave on its own. The other end of the strap, is the end at the dog's side, it can bite and set itself free and look for other master with a hope that the new master would be good.

But in considerable number of times the dog find nothing different from what it was earlier. As it hop on, from one master to another, the circumstance seems changing but the ground reality remains the same. They keep coming to it as with the previous masters but in different forms. The dog always feel exploited, cheated and starts to blame the whole system.
? Is their no solution to beat this situation?
? Will the vicious circle never be broken for the suffering Dog?

Lets see...
-->If after continuous efforts situation is not changing, then probably some extra effort is needed. Not to strive for change but to strive looking for what element doesn't allow the change.
-->When after continuous highlighting the wrong, which you think done to you, is not stopping, then probably highlighting of the reason is needed to yourself, the reason which is making you the subject to the wrong doing.
-->When you can't change the system with all you might, turn that force inward and change yourself.

The obvious sympathy comes towards the Dog. It is the irony of the world that it will never help the one in trouble but does shed tears for it. So what dog gets is flood of tears which is a salt water, it can't even drink.
So is it the bad Masters who have continued to exploits its Dog from Pre-Industrial to Modern Era?
No! the problem is the mentality of the Dog, which has made it susceptible to all exploitation, which it complains of. The life never asks you to be a dog and take the comfort of the civilized world, it also gives chance to challenge the wild and be the master of your own. The question is why is that route rarely taken? Because it is not easy. It is not easy to forsake everything to reach that only one which you want, to be resilient to continuous failure, to continue striving against ones own apprehensions, to remain motivated in adversaries, to renounce all worldly pleasure that comes so quick if you chose to be dog and most important capable to walk alone on that chosen path.
It takes real guts to set oneself free. Before one realizes a dream to master a portion of jungle he get into the fierce fight to first establish the first step firmly. Moreover you are always exposed, you have to not only provide for yourself but also to other fellows who work for you. The responsibility increases and so does the pressure. The preparedness preaches you to establish yourself hard to face the unforeseen and you continue to tighten control on resources, and you bring in people to establish process and implement policies. You become strict and stringent in your own space. And while this process continues and with time when you turn to the fellows of your space you realize that you have become master and the follows transformed into the Dogs. You wanted to become master but you never wished to make your fellows into dog, but looks like the pattern has repeated but its just you are the one who is cursed and your men are the one who are bitten and peed upon this time.

The agony of being strapped dog comes with the protection from the master. Irrespective of how much the master is disliked, you know that masters will fight to provide you, they protect you from the direct exposure of the danger (market changes). But the change you can bring in here is at individual level. You are small.
But when you the master you are all exposed to danger, you are detested, bitten and peed upon, but you hold great powers to enforce change.

So now its your choice?
To Be a Master or continue Being A Dog!
But whatever you chose to become, blaming is not acceptable.

६४वाँ स्वतंत्रता वर्ष: क्या खोया क्या पाया हमने!!

भारत का चौसठावाँ स्वतंत्रता वर्ष चल रहा है। बीते वर्षों में हमने बहुत कुछ पाया और खोया भी। पर हमने पाया कुछ ऐसा की विश्वपटल पर भारत का नक्शा पहचाना जाने लगा, भारत इक्कीसवीं सदी की शक्ति के रूप में उभरने लगा, भारतीयों को गंवार से अधिक भी समझा जाने लगा और इसी के समकक्ष खोया भी बहुत कुछ बहुमूल्य, परंतु उस खोने का किसी को संज्ञान नहीं और यदि है भी तो अघोषित है,मौन है। इस पाने की प्रसन्नता में जो आँखें खोले बैठे भी थे वो पुरानी पीठी के धकियानूसी लोगों के रूप में स्थापित कर दिये गये हैं। अब वो अगर बोलें भी तो लोग उनको कहते हैं “बावरे हैं”, और ध्यान नहीं देते; उनकी चेतावनी को अनदेखा करते है।
मैं कोई विकास अधिकारी नहीं हूँ, परन्तु अपने देश के प्रति संवदनशील अवश्य हूँ और आँखें खुली रखता हूँ, तो थोङा बहुत देश के हालातों से मैं भी परिचित हूँ। वैसे ये बात और है कि आज के विकास अधिकारी, किसी भी विभाग का ले लीजिये, अपने विभाग के विषय में ही जानकारी नहीं दे सकता है तो देश की तो बात बहुत दूर की है। ये बात अपने आप में एक और मुद्दा है, इसलिये इसको फिलहाल यहीं छोङते हैं।

मेरे समक्ष देश की जो तस्वीर उभर के आती है, वह मेरे गर्व भरा विचलन देने वाली है। बङा ही अजीब सा भाव है। नहीं?? अब उस तस्वीर को मैं आपके समक्ष प्रस्तुत करने जा रहा हूँ, तनिक गौर करियेगा।
यदि भारत की आज़ादी के प्रारंभ की बात करें तो उस समय हमारे राजनेताओं की प्राथमिक्ता यह थी भारतियों को रोटी, कपङा और मकान उपलब्ध हो। हमारे बङे बङे नेता विदेशी दौरों पर जाते थे अनुदान की आशा से। रूस, अमेरिका और यूरोप के कुछ एक बङे देश। उस समय हमारा देश याचक था और याचक की तरह ही उसको व्यवहार मिलता था। और याचक के प्रति तो दो ही आचरण होते है, दया और फटकार। ये मामला अलग है कि अंतरराष्ट्रीय मानको के आधार पर हमारी करीब ४०% जनता अभी भी गरीबी रेखा के नीचे है।
वैसे भारत ने इक्कीसवीं सदी में जब प्रवेश किय वह आत्म निर्भर तो हो ही चुका था और उसने खुली अर्थव्यवस्था की ओर कदम बढ़ाते हुये अपने द्वार भी विदेशी कम्पनियों के लिये खोल दिये थे। और इस सदी में, भारत विश्व की एक महत्तवपूर्ण शक्ति है यह तथ्य स्थापित हो चुका है। भारत की प्रसिद्धी तकनीकी, सूचना प्रौद्योगिकी, दूरसंचार, अंतरिक्ष अनुसंधान, परमाणु अनुसंधान, सेवा, दवाओं, इत्यादि क्षेत्र में होने लगी। भारतीय शेयर बाज़ार नई ऊचाईयों को छूने को अग्रसर हैं, सकर घरेलू उत्पात भी उन्नतोंन्मुख है, नये विचारों से लैस उद्यमी, विकासोन्मुख व्यक्तित्व और उनकी कंपनियाँ बाज़ार को नये आयाम दे रहीं है। भारत की अंतरराष्ट्रीय बाज़ार में भी पैठ प्रसंशनीय है। भारतीय प्रतिनिधित्व विश्व पर प्रखर हो चला है। आज के भारत की शौर्य गाथा हर क्षेत्र में है।
यदि उपरोक्त प्रविष्ट उपल्ब्धियों पर द्रष्टि डाले तो आपको यही अनुभूत होगा कि भारतीय अर्थव्यवस्था प्रचंड हो उन्नति मार्ग पर अग्रसर है।
तो फिर पीङा क्यों और किसे है?
जब इतनी प्रगति है तो यदि कुछ गवांया भी तो इस सब का भुगतान क्यूँ नहीं समझ सकते हम?
जब नये विचार आते हैं तो पुरानों को जाना पङता है, फिर ये कोलाहल क्यूँ?
ऐसा तो नहीं हो सकता कि हमें सिर्फ मिलता ही रहे- यदि किसी कक्ष में कुछ नया लाना है तो पुरानी वस्तुओं से निव्रत्ति तो लेनी ही है। यह महत्वपूर्ण भी है और स्वभाविक भी। नहीं क्या?
यह सारे प्रश्न अपनी स्थान पर सही हैं। परन्तु कुछ अन्य बिन्दू भी हैं जिन पर विचारना नितांत आवश्यक है। अब तनिक यूँ सोचिये-
इस दौर को सामजिक विक्रति नही कहें तो और क्या कहें कि यहाँ पूछ सिर्फ धन की होने लगी है और हमारा समाज उसके उपार्जन के स्रोत के प्रति उदासी है।
हमने अपने चरित्र प्रधान समाज को धनोन्मुख बना दिया और बिना विरोध सहर्ष स्वीकार भी लिया।
हर सरकारी या गैर सरकारी विभाग में कर्मचारी अपने निजी लाभ के लिये गलत करने से नहीं हिचकता; उसे कोई डर नहीं है। डर कानून का, जिसे वो यह सोच के नहीं घबराता कि यदि पकङे भी गये तो लचर कानूनी प्रक्रिया के चलते सज़ा होने की संभावना तो कम ही है, और अमूमन जो आयोग बैठाये भी जायेंगे जाँच के लिये वो भी लेदे के आख्या (रिपोर्ट) अशक्त कर ही देंगे। और दूसरा डर समाज का, जो पहले भ्रष्ट लोगों को बहिष्क्रित कर देता था। अपने ही समाज में पराया हो जान एक बहुत बङा मानसिक अवरोध था, पर ये अब नहीं रहा। और समाज का यह लचीला रुख ही समाजिक ढाँचा में भ्रष्टाचार का पोश्क है।
और सबसे बङा कष्ट यही है!!
अपने विद्यालय (स्कूल) की कई अच्छी सीख़ों में से एक उद्धरण करना चाहुँगा। एक टीचर थे हमारे और वो अक्सर एक कहावत कहते थे

"If Money is lost nothing is lost, if Health is lost something is lost and if Character is lost, Everything is lost"

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सार में कहें तो -

धन तुच्छ है, स्वास्थय् मूल्यवान है और चरित्र बहुमूल्य।

समाज इसके विपरीत हो गया है। क्या इसको आप पीङा न कहेंगे। यदि वित्तीय द्रष्टि से देखेंगे तो उत्तर अवश्य ना ही होगा।

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अब ये जानने की कोशिश करते है कि गाँधी के सूती भारत, भगत के बलिदानी भारत, बोस के द्रढ़ भारत, राम के पौरुषी भारत, कृष्ण के निर्मोही और कर्मशील भारत, चाण्क्य के नीतिकार भारत और विवेकानंद के ज्ञानी भारत को भष्ट, कैसे और किसने बनाया?
समाज की यह जो स्थिती है उसको इस अवस्था में लाने के लिये हम सब उत्तरदायी है और विशेष तौर पर हमारे रहनुमा, हमारे नेता। यह प्रक्रिया कई दशकों से चलती रही है और आज इस अवस्था तक आई है। वैसे प्रक्रिया अभी जारी है, अभी और बहुत कुछ देखना है।
भारत जब ब्रतानी साम्राज्य के अधीन था, तब ब्रतानियों ने एक सुनियोजित ढ़ंग से भारतियों को इस मानसिक्ता की ओर डकेला कि हमारी जो रीत व परम्परायें है वह असभ्य हैं। इस सोच ने उन लोगों को तो प्रभावित नहीं किया जो उस समय बुद्धिजीवी थे, परन्तु इस सोच ने अबोध जनता को इस मंथन में अवश्य डाला कि - क्या हम वास्तव में असभ्य हैं? समाज में उनको सम्मान दिया जाने लगा जो लोग स्वयं को ब्रतानी सोच में ढालने लगे (सम्मान के स्थान पर आडम्बर कहें तो अधिक उपयुक्त होगा)। फिर भारत का वो बुद्धिजीवी समाज नेत्रत्व में आ गया जिसको ज्ञान था सही व गलत का। उन्होंने समाज को यह ज्ञात कराया कि हमें स्वयं पर और अपनी संस्कृति पर गर्व होना चहिये। भारतीय समाज को इससे बल मिला। पर कहीं न कहीं ऐसी भावनाओं की जङें दृङ थी कि यदि हमारे किसी भी रीति या संस्कार को ब्रतानी सरकार और उस समय के हुकमरा सही ठहराते तो हमें अधिक गर्व होता था। तो परोक्ष रूप से हम अपने आपको पश्चिम समाज के द्वारा प्रमाणित होने पर अतिगर्वानवित होने लगे। परन्तु उस समय देश की कमान ऐसे व्यक्तियों के हाथ में थी जो अपने भारतीय होने पर और भारतीय सांस्कृतिक विविधता को समझते व समान करते थे और निसंकोच उसका पालन करते थे (खादी का प्रचलन उसी सोच का एक हिस्सा था)। उन्होंने जनता को ऐसे सभी भ्रामक विचार से बचाने का सफल प्रयास किया जो भारतीयों को उनके विचार शक्ति और अस्तित्व पर ही प्रश्न चिन्ह लगा दे।
पर आज़ादी के बाद समय बदला प्रजा को प्रजातंत्र तो मिला पर उसका उपयोग करने का ज्ञान नहीं। भारतीय नेत्रित्व की ये अक्षम्य और जघन्य त्रुटि है, और उनकी अदूर्दर्शिता का एक प्रमाण। प्रजा को प्रजातंत्र का बोध कराये हुये ही उसको उस शक्ति के प्रयोग करने की आज़ादे मिली। नतीजा हुआ जननायकों का चारित्रिक ह्रास। जिन्हें वोट देना था उनको यह नहीं सिखाया गया कि किसे वोट देना चाहिये। वाह्य आडमबरों और शब्द जालों के तानेबाने ने राजनीती में जगह बनाई और प्रगतिशील व नेकनियति से नेत्रित्व करने वाले जनता पर पकङ खो बैठे। आडमबर धन की माँग करता है। इसी लिये आज जब चुनाव आयोग ने २५ लाख राशि घोषित की है (उ.प्र., आ.प्र जैसे बङे राज्यों में), चुनाव प्रत्याशी करोङों में खर्च करते हैं। और जब धन बल इतना महत्वपूर्ण हो गया, तो जो नेकनियति वाले थे, वे भी इस चाल पर चल पङे। बदलते समय की माँग थी, बदलना पङा, अच्छा या बुरा पता नहीं, पर जो नहीं बदले उनको आज रोटियों के लाले पङे हैं, कोई पूछने वाला नहीं। यह धन की पहली मार थी, जब राजनीति में धन सबल हुआ।
राजनीति बुरी मानी जाने लगी। पर समाज को अगला झटका तब मिला जब हमारे देश में हम भाषी मूङ व पिछङे हुये जाने लगे। यह एक और उदाहरण है जहाँ हमारे प्ररंभिक राजनैतिक चूक गये। भारतीय भाषायें दयनीय स्तिथी में है। नौकरी के लिये अंग्रेज़ी ज्ञान सर्वोपरि माना जाने लगा। सरकारी विद्यालय का स्थान निजी स्कूलों ने लिया। जब आप अपनी भाषा से दूर हुये तो संस्कृति भी हाशिये पर आ जाती है। अंग्रेज़ी या कोई और भाषा सीखना गलत नहीं है, गलत है तो अपनी भाषा पर शर्मिन्दा होना। देश को इतना कम था कि फिर आरक्षण ने कसर पूरी कर दी। अब सरकारी विद्यालय या महाविद्यालय में योग्यता नहीं अपितु जाति निर्धारण से प्रवेश मिलने लगे। जो मेधावी प्रवेश न पा सके उनको निजी स्कूलों में जाना ही पङा, जिनकी फीस अधिक थी। पैसे की पहली मार आम आदमी पर यहाँ पङी। जब उसे लगा धन अधिक होना चहिये। सरकारी विद्यालयों में अध्यापक भी योग्यता नहीं अरक्षण से आने लगे। एक तरह से सही ही था, आरक्षित विद्यार्थियों के लिये आरक्षित शिक्षक। अभिभाव ट्यूशन की तरफ भागे। धन की माँग और बढ़ी।
और ऐसे में आया उदारीकरण और खुले बाज़ार की संकल्पना। बाज़ार उत्पादनों से भर गये, टीवी नये चैनलों से, और चैनल विज्ञापनों से। बाज़ारी वैकलपों ने ज़रूरतें बढ़ाईं, संयम को ढकोसला और असमर्थता छुपाने का बहाना बताया गया, इतना ही नहीं भारतियों के बचत वाले स्वभाव का परिहास किया गया। ऐसे समय में हमारे राष्ट्र मे ऐसा कोई भी नायक नहीं था, जो ये कहता कि यह छलावा है इससे बचो।
धन की माँग बढती ही गईं, और समाज उसको पाने की चाह में धनमोन्मुख हो चला। व्यापारियों ने काला बाज़ारी की, नेताओं ने पक्षपात किया और चंदा बटोरा, नौकरी पेशेवालों ने घूस ली, निजीकरण बढ़ा और हर वस्तु के दाम चढ़े। गरीब, मजदूर, किसान जिनके पास बेईमानी के लिये कुछ न था, वे पलायन करने लगे, आत्महत्यायें बढ़ी, कुछ ने शरीर के अंग बेच, कुछ अपराध की ओर बढ़े। इस प्रभाव को सार में कुछ यूँ कहेंगे, भारतीय धनाड्य विश्व धनाड्यों की सूची में शामिल होने लगे, मध्यम वर्ग तनाव से ग्रसित हुआ, और गरीब भुखमरी की ओर बढ़े।

और अब सूचना प्रोद्योगिकी के चलते हमारे कितने ऐसे काम है जिनमें समय बरबाद नहीं होता, पर इतनी बचत के बावजूद हमारे पास अगर कुछ नहीं है तो वो है समय, कि हम बैठें और सोचें, कि आखिर किस ओर जा रहे हैं हम।
जब तक चल रहे हैं चल रहे हैं, इस अंधी दौङ में हम भी निरंतर हिलडुल रहे है।
चूँकि भयभीत हैं स्वयं को टटोलने के विचार से, इसीलिये अब हम स्वयं को भी छल रहे है||
कभी समय मिलने पर उस भारत की तस्वीर देखना जो शहर में नहीं रहता, कोफ्त होगी, इस प्रगति से - जो एक छोर पर हमें अमेरिकी जीवन की ओर ले जा रहा है तो दूसरी छोर पर अफ्रीकी। भारती जीवन कहाँ दम तोङ रहा है?
ह्म्म्म्म्‍ ढूँढो तो जान!!

Desire - Experiencing The Thunder Storm

08-Aug-2010 An Important Day in My Life.

Today, I Experienced what I Longed to get in Reality.

I always desired to witness Monstrosity of Sea During a Thunder Storm.

And I saw; I often Dream my Desires but Today I Got One of Those For Real!!!

---

Well! Well! Well!!

Today While I was working at home, I realized that the Lady Dusk, who wears the deep neck, backless evening Gown and flutters in the sky showing off her beauty as the sun dies in the horizon, has suddenly draped herself in Black and eloped.

Lord Weather felt cheated with her action and rushed all around with his power of rain, cloud and wind, to find her. While all the trees yell in support, the situation seemed grave.

I, understanding the gravity of the situation, removed my dried clothes from the balcony and came in to continue my work.

Knock! Knock!! Knock!!! A thought Stuck my Head that moment.

So it Has come. The Day has come when I can get a look of what I always saw on the television, a storm in the sea. I heard people talking. The storm was suppose to hit this area last week.

What an opportunity!!

I live in a distance of less than 25metres to sea beach. What are you thinking Dumbo?? Rush to Sea!!!

Morning My Maa admonished me for going swimming into sea. She was so disturbed to know that I went neck deep into the sea, while I'm no great swimmer. I calmed her saying water as quite as lake and I swim quite well. But this stunt will have no explanation.

Shrugg it Off! Shrugg it Off!! Shrug off the Thought!!!

What Thought??

No! Not the idea to Go to the sea at this moment, but shrug of the fear that my Maa will knock me down with her Emotional Power Punches.

Just to confirm myself I peeped out, rain turned heavy, making futile attempt to discourage me.

I asked my Friend; He agreed. Great!!!

WoWWW!!! Heavy Wind, Roaring trees, daring bolts and gruelling Rain. I am ready For the adventure; to feel how the sea would be at this moment. Yeaahhh!!

Came down to the entrance of the appartment. I saw a couple enjoying dinner. They greeted us with big smile. The guy looked and smiled me so long that I didn't get a chance to glance his female partner. Aah No Probs.

Came out; the rain was heavy I removed my Shoes and started to the beach bare foot. The droplet that hit like pellet contained my urge to run; I was rather doing swift walk hiding my face with my hands. Heavy rain Drenched me in a moment and I realized that it was really cold, the temprature dropped below 20 degree Celsius.

Whatever!! While I decide to go, nothing can stop. I shivered due to cold but I continued walking ahead.

A minute or two, the road ended. I stand on beach, there's the sea just 10/12 meters away from me.

Heavy rain blurred the vision, but excited I moved toward sea. 5 meters now, I could see the challenging waves, just 3 hours back those were so gentle and I was with them. And along with me there were so many Damsels (and men of course) wearing only the Essentials. I got a chill down my spine thinking what if I was inside at this movement. The waves would have tore me. No wonder people say that nothing can save you against turbulent water. Imagining the ferocity of Tsunami, I stepped towards the sea. Low Visibility ahead, dark clouds up, wet sand beneath, and with heavy rain accompanied by power wind. The water droplet feel like shower of arrows from some Lilliputian guards attempting to save their fort against the intruder.

Just a meter away from the shore. I was freezed. A imprudent idea flashed-

- Why not reach the wave!

-- Common Don't be That fool, it is no Joke...

- Oh Common what will happen, I am not going inside water, It's just I wanna touch the wave

-- haha its just water you are already drenched, what will you achieve

- I know, but I'll be thrilled if I do so

-- Adventure has some limit; better don't cross...

- Limit is something set by mind, I liberate myself from all limit, letz go..

-- Don't do this my dear...

- Hell! I'll go...

Taking deep breath to get some courage, I took a step...

Crrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!

Dammmnn! What terrible sound of bold, never heard before in my life...

Involuntary I was on my knees on ground and I just looked around, half deaf.

Crrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!

There was no freaking being on that beach in my visibility, ehnanced momentarily by that lightening, even my friend decided intelligently to stay far back near beach's changing room.

Damm... Why the Hell have I come so close? There is a vast disturbed sea in front, far left and right there are dense trees. Now I was in my senses. The thunder sound broke my spell, and realising how alone and vulnerable I was there, I ran towards the changing room.

All science, that I learnt in my school, started pouring in head. During lightening earth is positively charged and standing object or object pointed towards the sky attracts lightening bolts. I ran back half bowed, didn't want to turn from Vivek Vikram to Vikram Roasted.

Reaching the Changing Room I felt safe and sane. My friend said something; what I could understand is trees. I thought that he desires to go to those jungle at this point of time. Grrrreat!!! We have been there earlier. Its creepy even in the day light. I felt, he shared my Enthusiasm. Hiding my excitement, I asked him to repeat, just to cross verify if I understand correctly. And he said

"Lots of trees surround this changing room and with this heavy wind we are not safe here."

Oh Yeah! He was right and I was thinking to go to jungle. Well it was decided to end this. We step out of the room and started strolling back home. Cold was Intensified, and rain drops were shooting our back.

Half way home and

Crrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!

****! I started running and while I reached the main door of my apartment, again

Crrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkk!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I hate this sound...

Stood in the rain for few more seconds, I took deep breath and entered in the main door of the apartment building. The couple seeing our adventure have one Expression for us - "Freaks". But when our eyes met, the guy gave a sound of approval. I couldn't see the girl's face again. Darn!!

Came Back running through stairs to fourth floor. Changed clothes, made some tea and sat in my arm chair sipping tea, thinking back what I did few minutes back, Enjoying & Smiling to Myself.

Then I though to share my experience, so wrote few words here. While I end this, its quite late, the calender date has already changed, the rain has lost its might and wind power too has toned down.

Thanks Lord Indra for Giving me this Experience.

And after this posting, I'll retire to bed. While I wait for sleep I have to think

- How will I present this story to my Maa?

Good Night!!

"माया" is "Relative"

माया! (Maya) This word has fascinated my little world when I encountered it first during my childhood. It was some mythological serial on the DorDarshan (the only option available that time) someone voiced this statement सब माया है. Without realizing the meaning of the word I enjoyed the word Maya.

My First Teacher, My Mother, keeps deep interest in Hindu mythology. So she often narrated us (My Sisters & Me) religious stories to pass good messages in life. And whenever she talked about Lord Krishna, this Maya word reappeared very frequently. I like the word, but I wondered what the word actually mean. So I asked my mother its meaning and she explained it to me with loads of example. What I understood was that there is something worldly and something that is beyond that. But I did not get the essence of it. Finally I was told that I'll understand it with time. Fine! Though I didn't like this idea, but I accepted.

Another notable instance which I could remember was in school, in Hindi class. I requested my teacher if she could help me understand that word. Her effort could manage just a liner "Maya means Money". She chose the easiest possible explanation and the closing note was such that I couldn't dare say that I wanted to know more on that word. Phew! T for teacher or T for Terror?

The next encounter with this word was when I heard about the movie "Maya Memsab". The name intrigued me but my Mother refused to allow me to its show saying movie is not good. Even I heard that the movie was a flop, but there was something about the movie that brought some strange expression amongst those who were so called adult that time. I persisted to watch the movie; to this my Mother said movie is indecent and gave her finishing statement as Maya bhi koi Naam hai. So now Maya is bad.

I was so confused. The understanding of word has brought me three answers all mutually exclusive in the first look. Maya is some how related to Worldly & Non Worldly stuff, it stands for Money and it is Bad. I knew that the world is Round and so became my understanding on that word.

I never occurred to me when I actually got the meaning of that word. As my mother told, I did understand with time. It indeed is a very interesting word.

And lately I got a new dimension to this word.

I Thank Albert (Einstein). His contribution to science has brought to me this new understanding of Maya-

Maya is Relativity. All the diverging thoughts on that word seem to align when relativity sneaks in. Wondering HOW?? So, let us investigate all (my) understanding of this word. Starting from the beginning-

First Sub Maya hai(All is relative) --If we see our worlds, we all live our day to day life relative to something. Example: I am Happy (probably there were time when I was not), I live a decent life (someone doesn't), I like speed (relative again). The easiest test is to question oneself "WHO AM I?". Ponder on all the possible answers, they all will be relative to something.

Second Maya is worldly and Non Worldly -- The worldly part is explained above (so some overlap exist in answers).

Now lets move to Non-Worldly. First define the non Worldly. I take it something out of our Planet , the space, is Non Worldly. All the discoveries and talks are relative to our Earth. Of all the theories of space origin, if we take Big Bang as our base, still our research are never about the absolute point of Bang, but Earth centric.

Third Maya is Bad: Absolutely Right; ABSOLUTE is what is True and Reliable. In our programming world it is recommended to use absolute paths to help portability and reduce errors. Even religious sculptures preach to seek absolute to break the life cycle and unite with the divine.

Anyone to Contest the idea? :-))

Reasons of Heart

Heart has no brains to reason. It is the human mind that kindles two kinds of thought. One, the outcome of some well reasoned & rational approach, while the other where some idea just lingers through the mind and gets captured. The latter is mentioned as the Heart and many a times it is the driving force of a person’s existence.

Heart, an intriguing subject to the poet, to the philosopher and even to the individual has several factors like genetic, social and environmental, etc that give it a shape. There is no limit to the desires that get aroused in the heart and it can leap to any distance and between any two completely contrasting context in a matter of fraction.

Mostly thoughts of heart are those which are driven by faith, passion and feelings, and many a times they just don’t fit in the logical frame.

It is the belief of some thinkers and religious preachers, that “the one who controls his heart can control his destiny while the one who is control by heart in a way accepts the slavery of the world”.

This thought can be logically explained- we spend a great portion of our life trying to bring consensus between these two contradicting schools of thought that live within us.

A person who controls his heart has more time and energy to work towards his goal. The synergy between the head and heart will produce a greater effect of the individual's action and a focused mindset that will lead him to success. On the contrary a person with a divided mind will always have some clouds of pessimism, which, time and again, hamper the potency of his actions. It is like a government that suppressed its strong internal opponents, and attacks the neighbouring country to conquer. It may succeed, with all things come straight and stars in favour, but under no circumstances it would be considered as a tactical approach.

We get thousands of thoughts in a day and most of the times these thoughts are shrugged off by the individual due to the hidden irrationality in it or may be they are out of context to the final objective of the person’s life. The out come of our heart, be it desires or some thoughts or any idea, is the form of our energy. So as per the law of conservation of energy an uncontrolled heart wastes our energy.

A controlled heart, streamlined with the life's objective will result in more meaningful, peaceful and successful life.